I’m Worried About My Isolated Older Parents During COVID19 — How Can I Help?
Isolation and loneliness among the older adult population were prevalent in our society before COVID-19. Add in the strain of the pandemic and mandated social distancing, and this worsens an already existing problem. Although our state is beginning to reopen, we continue to see new COVID-19 infections and should still be mindful of the people who are at risk in our community. To stay safe and healthy, maintaining social distance, wearing masks, and other precautions are especially necessary for individuals over 60 and those with underlying health conditions.
Of course we want our loved ones to stay safe and healthy, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Especially in these unprecedented times, it’s normal to feel particularly worried or protective of older parents or family members. Below are some steps to take when reaching out to your isolated older family members.
Ask for what they need
The first step in offering help is asking about what is needed. Listen first to what your parent identifies as their concerns and respond accordingly. Don’t assume that your concerns and their concerns are the same. Although you may have valid concerns as well, those can be addressed later.
Check in about safety
Have a conversation with your parent about safety measures to be taken. In this conversation, you can address issues including basic needs such as ensuring they have needed medications and have a safe way to get groceries as well as discussing wearing a cloth mask when in public or around others. If there are caregivers or other visitors to the home, encourage your parent to ask them to wear appropriate PPE, and maintain distance when possible. If your parent needs to see a doctor, suggest video appointments as opposed to in-person when possible, and offer to assist in troubleshooting technology issues if needed.
Find safer alternatives
It’s understandable to start to feel cooped up and to want to resume normal activities. Unfortunately, it’s still not safe for older adults and people with high-risk conditions to do so. Should a family member mention wanting to do something that will put them near people outside their household, brainstorm with them how to manage their risks or propose an alternative. For example, if they want a particular item from the store, offer to assist with curbside pickup, delivery, or ordering the item online. If they want to go to a park, encourage them to go to a less populated park, wear masks, and emphasize social distancing. Familiarize yourself with CDC guidelines and recommendations so that you’re able to encourage the most up-to-date best practices.
Check in about their mental health
Isolation and loneliness are difficult emotions. When compounded with the uncertainty of the future of the pandemic, they become even more challenging to manage. Many people are feeling overwhelmed and stressed during this time. Check in with your parents about their mental and emotional health. Brainstorm stress reduction strategies with them, such as limiting time watching the news, increasing time spent doing positive activities and hobbies, or exercise. Offer to help them find a therapist who is offering mental health counseling via video. Many therapists have switched to telehealth, and most insurance companies will cover video sessions.
Maintain connection
Social connection is crucial for everyone during this time, but particularly those who were already struggling with isolation. Regular or scheduled phone calls with your parent will provide social interaction for both of you. Video chat is an option as well. If your parent finds technology daunting, offer gentle encouragement, and offer to show or explain to them how to use the technology.
Many community colleges and senior centers are offering classes online, including art classes, exercise classes, and many other options. This is another good way to engage in social interaction with a wider array of people. AARP also has a free program called Friendly Voice. Just call 1–888–281–0145 to request that a volunteer reach out to your loved one for a friendly chat.
Living in a pandemic presents many challenges for all of us. Social isolation is a problem among the older population, even in the best of times, and is only compounded by having to maintain social distancing. It’s completely normal to worry about your older parents. Follow the above steps to address both your and their concerns and alleviate some of your anxieties.
